Behold by Dori Killion
McLaren says that when you are expressing yourself, you are most in harmony with the universe. It is how I integrate all this time spent with God, and all the efforts to change on the inside culminates into change on the outside. It’s a never ending relationship with change with more of it in the waiting.
At the peak of my chemotherapy fatigue, Don taught me to savor the beauty, literally stop and smell the roses on a daily basis … because months earlier, in anticipation of these days, he took up the grass in our front yard … and planted 12 rose bushes.
I let beauty and joy comfort me. I leave baggage behind, and take time to nurture the neglected side of my life, revisit my aspirations and imagine a future. Now is a time to savor the beauty of life, to reminisce, to let the joy be born.
While I was giving birth, I was comforted by the attentions of my husband, my mother, my nurse, doctor … and then I held Anna. I struggle with choosing words to describe my experience so I’ll just come out and say it … I was holding, looking into the eyes of God. That’s how It felt.
I love You.
I get a message at work. “Come early today.”
I leave for the City of Hope. Behold, my dying Husband.
Behold the Mystery of things I cannot change. Please God grant me the gift of serenity.