No Way by Dori Killion
My husband Don was best man in a wedding at the Crystal Cathedral in Orange County, California. Walking inside for the first time started out as an Oh-My-God moment; it was beautiful and grand. Soon I was struck with a secret, silent moment of “No”. I was now in a church with a huge operating budget, sitting under a ceiling made of glass windows that looked out onto a smog filled sky … in earthquake country!
“No” makes me happy simply because I have the freedom to say it. Deciding “No” to victimhood is empowering. An unexpressed “No” could lead to illness.
“No” is easy (swipe left). Like paying for a third glove. Who needs it? I see materialism and profiteering as doing harm to our planet, harm in the making, the using, the discarding … leaving endless heaps of waste and corrupting our souls. No way did God intend for things to be like this.
“No” is fearful. My parents rarely quarreled in front of me, although sometimes I knew when something was up. The few occasions I overheard them debate their differences, I was so scared that grownups sometimes didn’t get along. These not-too-small parts of my childhood persist in shaping me. I do my best to avoid conflict. Could that have something to do with avoiding intimacy?
“No” said in anger. Please God, help me channel my anger. #@$% THIS WAR!
Learning to say, “No” happens while time runs short. The later it gets, the more important to prioritize.
“No” is not an option. My confession for this week is that I do not “Know” there is an afterlife. My suspicions are, there isn’t. My biggest goal in THIS life is comfort but if I said, “No” to everything that causes me pain, I wouldn’t be alive.