Posted by Dori Killion

It’s about the who, what, where, and why of Time, otherwise known as the Here and Now. Like Gulliver I too could be accused by the Lilliputians of idolizing my watch. Now it displays not only the time but my Calendar and my sacred To Do List and that’s even better.

My dad’s big advice was “Plan your work then work your plan”  so I was delighted to discover Ember Days: a Christian practice of setting aside time during the Equinox and Solstice for reflection on the past and the future; making time to plan time, and to declare a purpose going forward. But for all the value I put into doing, I spend a lot of time waiting. What’s the delay?

If my life went according to plan I would be a super woman by now but there is a disconnect: It never happens like the plan. I have failed to train the dragon, I merely hold it at bay protecting myself from stepping too deep into any one ditch. I honor my commitments to others and I value being on time but for myself, not so much. I put things off regularly. I use distractions to avoid higher priorities. I spend an incredible amount of time waiting … on what I do not know.

As I walk the 1.8 miles to church, I wait the 50 minutes it takes to do it. If I happen upon some manna along the way, it’s not because I was waiting for or expecting it. I’m at a loss as to what it is I’ve lost.

I am told I am waiting to die. I wait for one body part or another to get better and when it eventually won’t I’ll wait for the “next stage”. I wait not on God but rather I wait with God. It feels much more like resting than waiting. I don’t have a belief about anything that happens after I die, I only have belief about the actions I take while I live and yet I spend a lot of time resting, content to let the mystery unfold.


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